Happy election day!!!
Let’s dispense with the introduction, and cut to the chase: We’re all gonna need a lot of sustenance today. So, forthwith, my Midterm Election Day Survival Guide . . .
1. Coffee. Right, well, this is a requirement for my every day. But we’re definitely going to need energy to wait on poll lines, and stay up late watching MSNBC.
2. SoulCycle. Or yoga, or jumping jacks, or punching a wall, should things go wrong. I’m doing a 10:30 SoulCycle class, because there’s nothing like a kick-ass lefty lesbian with a killer soundtrack to rile up your ass and sweat out all your cortisol.
3. Pink sparkly nail polish. Need I say more? (And if you’re a cis dude, let me know your equivalent in the comments.)
4. Kombucha. Stay hydrated, people. I know you’re gonna be drinking in any case, so alternate that booze with coconut water, seltzer, vegetable oil — whatever you got.
5. Bohemian Rhapsody. I’m seeing it with my friend Jill at 3 p.m., to take our minds off the real world for a few hours. I’m wearing a red, white & blue satin dress, leopard-print rain boots, and the aforementioned nail polish.
6. MSNBC. I know I said that already. But CNN drives me bonkers, and Fox News is running a Trump rally. JK, I have no idea what they’re doing.
Shoot, I gotta get to SoulCycle. GOOD LUCK, EVERYBODY!!!