Earth Day 5.0, Pandemic-style

Doodle by Karina Fassett, IG @shewouldnotdraw
Okay, so now we’re in the middle of a pandemic.
But not to worry, your friendly little enviro-nerd is here to keep her eye on things for you while you obsessively watch Cuomo’s briefings, try to get your mom to figure out the HouseParty app, or just stress-eat yourself into oblivion. Or, goddess forbid, deal with the coronavirus itself.
In fact, Cuomo just started today’s presser; I’ll be back in a bit.
So. It’s the 50th anniversary of EARTH DAY. Where is everybody? I’m quarantino’ed in my new little town upstate (see previous post for deets on that), after I hightailed it out of NYC — unfortunately leaving many of my belongings behind, including most of my clothes and a partial box of protective masks that could be ten years old, but I’d take ’em right about now.

Protective in all the wrong ways.
Btw, I just Googled “protective masks” + “shopping” to show you the type of masks they were, and this pleather BDSM number came up. I mean, it’s cute, but it’s the exact opposite of what I need right now.
Anyways, should environmentalists say “We told you so,” or should we just head straight to the market for wine? I mean groceries.
Polar bears be like, “How do you like it?”
Last month, before shit got real, we were joking that it was the Zombie Apocalypse out there. (Find my NYC cab driver’s definition of the apocalypse here.) Before the ad agency where I freelance went remote, this is how the company cafeteria responded to the budding pandemic: Read More…