Category: Bad Guys

A Post-Trump Enviro Quiz . . . and a Wild Defense of Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving weekend, 2020 style! I hope you didn’t get stuck with an entire boatload of Brussels sprouts all to yourself, while your brother and sister-in-law now have to figure out what to do with twelve pounds of uneaten turkey. (As happened with some friends who called their family gathering off rather late in the game.)

Meanwhile Citizen Deb herself (moi) has been trying to decide what to write about . . .

Should I do a special holiday-weekend romp about the Pilgrims and the “Indians”?

Do I create a QUIZ to test your knowledge on Trump’s myriad environmental rollbacks over the last four years?

OR do I just pour myself a large glass of wine and eat some leftovers?

Well, obviously the answer is all three.

See, as I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been listening to an audio book of Washington Irving’s seriously funny History of New York from the Beginning of the World to the End of the Dutch Dynasty by Deidrich Knickerbocker — which Irving wrote in 1809. I mean, anything that starts at the beginning of the world has Citizen Deb written all over it. (It also happens to be how my own book-in-progress starts.)

But then I was looking over all the envirollbacks [sic] that Biden is going to have to try to unroll come January 20th. Or maybe it’ll be the job of John Kerry, the just-appointed “Climate Envoy” — Biden’s newly created cabinet-level position.

What?? Yeah, baby!!! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

Actually, Kerry’s job probably won’t involve EPA rollbacks, since the EPA (at least under the outgoing administration) doesn’t recognize the climate crisis or carbon emissions as part of their wheelhouse of protecting American citizens. The last four years they’ve been focusing more on protecting corporate billionaires’ profit margins, which meant a lot of undoing of regulations.

Remember the hamberders? It feels like a million years ago.

King Trump himself did (sort of) recognize climate change when he signed an Executive Order (EO) revoking Obama’s EO that set a goal of lowering the federal government’s greenhouse gas emissions by 40 percent over 10 years. Even though it’s just a “goal,” King Trump didn’t think we needed that one . . . perhaps because his very good brain doesn’t comprehend “future”? I don’t know.

Each rollback is pretty bad. Like the one that loosened the offshore drilling safety regulations that Obama implemented after the 2010 Deepwater Horizon explosion and oil spill. Whatever. I’m sure the honor system is fine.

But it’s when you read them all in a row that you think, “Why??? Why did they want to bring back over 100 practices that are clearly terrible for people?” Or perhaps you think, “Exactly how evil is this guy and his cronies?” Or is it that he and his cronies have some misconstrued view of the world and its inhabitants?

Actual size

After all, we’ve had misconstrued views of folks since the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620, and the Pilgrims didn’t know what to make of the unexpected brown people peeping at them from behind the trees.

It’s old news that Europeans pushed the natives into practical extinction throughout the Americas. Even 200 years ago, the young Washington Irving was pointing it out, by creating a brilliant satirical defense from his fictional “author” Diedrich Knickerbocker, who dutifully rationalizes the colonial genocide. (I especially like when he compares our invasion of the natives’ America with the Moon’s inhabitants’ invasion of ours — so hang tight for that.)

In his so-called History of New York, “Knickerbocker” begins his defense with a question:

Read More…

Earth Day 5.0, Pandemic-style

EarthMask

Doodle by Karina Fassett, IG @shewouldnotdraw

Okay, so now we’re in the middle of a pandemic.

But not to worry, your friendly little enviro-nerd is here to keep her eye on things for you while you obsessively watch Cuomo’s briefings, try to get your mom to figure out the HouseParty app, or just stress-eat yourself into oblivion. Or, goddess forbid, deal with the coronavirus itself.

In fact, Cuomo just started today’s presser; I’ll be back in a bit.

So. It’s the 50th anniversary of EARTH DAY. Where is everybody? I’m quarantino’ed in my new little town upstate (see previous post for deets on that), after I hightailed it out of NYC  — unfortunately leaving many of my belongings behind, including most of my clothes and a partial box of protective masks that could be ten years old, but I’d take ’em right about now.

Leather mask

Protective in all the wrong ways.

Btw, I just Googled “protective masks” + “shopping” to show you the type of masks they were, and this pleather BDSM number came up. I mean, it’s cute, but it’s the exact opposite of what I need right now. 

Anyways, should environmentalists say “We told you so,” or should we just head straight to the market for wine? I mean groceries.

Polar bears be like, “How do you like it?”

Last month, before shit got real, we were joking that it was the Zombie Apocalypse out there. (Find my NYC cab driver’s definition of the apocalypse here.) Before the ad agency where I freelance went remote, this is how the company cafeteria responded to the budding pandemic: Read More…

Advertising Is Garbage

ED garbage duratrans

Part of the Earth Day campaign. (Before I proofread it, obvs.) More below.

So a lot has happened since I was here last. Michael Cohen. Rudy Giuliani. Scott Pruitt’s hearing. Eric Schneiderman’s bitch-slapping. And a porn star’s lawyer who makes more sense than any of ’em.

In better news, California (where I am currently, hanging out with my parents) will now require all new homes to have solar power. I just did a quick search for other good news, but it’s mostly boring stuff. Donald Glover’s (aka Childish Gambino) This Is America video is pretty cool.

Oh, I also did a couple of fun performances. (Here’s one of them.)

And Earth Day happened. Dunno who besides me really cares about that, but I had to get away from my computer, and into the woods . . .

ForestPark

Plant-based hike.

So I went to Queens. Where I “hiked” with two Columbia friends through Forest Park, to the soothing sounds of the Jackie Robinson Parkway, after we’d eaten the vegan quiche I’d made, and pounded a few Bloody Marys around my friend’s kitchen table.

Because it had been a crazy coupl’a weeks.

Remember the Earth Day pitch I made to the CEO? (Refresh your memory HERE.)

quiche

Plant-based brunch.

Did I mention it was for one of the top ad agencies in the world? Pretty sure I didn’t. When I last wrote about it, the CEO of said ad agency had just referred me to the CFO and the building architecture person (the latter is the one who oversaw getting the place LEED-certified when the agency moved into it; dunno who besides me [and her] cares about that). Public Relations was at the meeting, too. They all loved it.

Then things got a little . . . weird. Read More…