Deb’s Midterm Election Day Survival Guide

Happy election day!!!

Let’s dispense with the introduction, and cut to the chase: We’re all gonna need a lot of sustenance today.  So, forthwith, my Midterm Election Day Survival Guide . . .

PinkNailPolish

1. Coffee. Right, well, this is a requirement for my every day. But we’re definitely going to need energy to wait on poll lines, and stay up late watching MSNBC.

2. SoulCycle. Or yoga, or jumping jacks, or punching a wall, should things go wrong. I’m doing a 10:30 SoulCycle class, because there’s nothing like a kick-ass lefty lesbian with a killer soundtrack to rile up your ass and sweat out all your cortisol.

3. Pink sparkly nail polish. Need I say more? (And if you’re a cis dude, let me know your equivalent in the comments.)

4. Kombucha. Stay hydrated, people. I know you’re gonna be drinking in any case, so alternate that booze with coconut water, seltzer, vegetable oil — whatever you got.

5. Bohemian Rhapsody. I’m seeing it with my friend Jill at 3 p.m., to take our minds off the real world for a few hours. I’m wearing a red, white & blue satin dress, leopard-print rain boots, and the aforementioned nail polish.

6. MSNBC. I know I said that already. But CNN drives me bonkers, and Fox News is running a Trump rally. JK, I have no idea what they’re doing.

Shoot, I gotta get to SoulCycle. GOOD LUCK, EVERYBODY!!!

xo,
Deb

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A Day in the Life of Yours Truly

Yesterday my friend Jill sent me a link to this article, which is too annoying to read. It’s “A day in the life of an HSBC exec who wakes up at 5:30 a.m. to work out, always eats green, and studies at Stanford in her free time.” What. Ever.

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7:30 a.m. Faux tennis. (Oh, and she’s credited with ALL the [posed] photos. Not that I’m bitter.)

“On a typical day, she gets up at 5:30 a.m. to meditate, check in with friends and family in different time zones, and play tennis.” She has some liquified kale concoction and then she “walks to work and spends her workday connecting venture-capital firms, technology companies, and new startups.” All in nude-colored stilettos.

After work she takes classes at Stanford, and then drafts proposals for some supposed women’s empowerment organization in Papua New Guinea. At 7:30 p.m. (huh?) she does yoga, and then she cooks dinner with her boyfriend. And then they go for a stroll through the neighborhood, “reflecting upon our key wins and challenges and preparing for the adventures of the next day,” she says.

Makes you want to puke, right? Also, it’s a load of bullpucky. Read More…

#inFOXication

FoxNationThe only thing that’s more dangerous than Brett Kavanaugh’s drunken past is the fog that half of our country is in, thanks to Fox News. I’m dubbing it “inFOXication.”

It’s a huge problem. Its mistruths and far-right-wing agenda continually infoxicate swaths of the populace, and then circle back to the Oval Office itself (or the Presidential bedroom, but let’s not go there).

Other than a catchy hashtag, I doubt I’m offering anything new here. But I can’t sleep.

In the wee hours of the morning, I wake up to the feeling of chemicals (cortisol?) coursing through my body, especially my legs. Some of that is normal — the cortisone hormone, produced by the adrenal glands, peaks in the morning to help us wake up. But this partial list of symptoms definitely nails my cortisol overload:

  • depression
  • fatigue
  • back pain
  • weight gain
  • thin skin (dunno if this is literal or metaphoric, but the latter applies to moi)
  • decreased concentration
  • low libido
  • acne (do canker sores count? I had a brutally painful one last week that even made my bottom front teeth hurt)
  • impaired memory (especially short-term memory)
  • insomnia
  • irritability
  • blood sugar dysregulation . . .

I have all but one of those, but I ain’t saying which. Read More…